Even if toxic people came with warning signs above their heads, they’re not always easy to avoid. It is especially hard when it has to do with one of our very own family members. After all, we all know that we can decide who we allow to come into our lives, but it’s not always that easy to cut off a family member, specifically a toxic one.

We can choose our friends, but we don’t get to choose our family. It is important to understand and remember you can’t change everybody. So the best thing to do is stop trying.

When a family member is toxic, remember that you do not deserve to be treated badly or abused. Some of the underlying messages that we receive when speaking with a toxic family member are “You’re not enough”, “You’re not worthy”, “You’re not important”, “You have no right to complain”, “You’re not lovable”, “You’re a loser.”

This is how you can deal with them, sit them down and have a conversation with them, and let them know how you feel.