Healing Deceit

Khalil Gibran said, “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” If you’ve ever experienced deceit, be it in personal or professional relationships, you understand what Gibran was referring to. It is a circumstance in which we can’t even tell doubt and faith apart, or we may feel consumed by both at the same time.

We suffer quietly through disloyalty from a partner, friend, or family member, but this embeds harmful emotions deep into our being. Our trust in others is challenged if we don’t process the reality of betrayal and work through its painful impressions. And who hasn’t been betrayed? After one partner is unfaithful, we just can’t imagine our next love interest remaining loyal. If our best friend deceives us, we begin to think all friends are capable of it, too. In this way, we set ourselves up for a vicious cycle and program our minds to believe that betrayal is something we’ll just have to learn to live with. But infidelity of any kind can bring about wisdom and invaluable lessons to be learned.

Betrayal leaves us at a fork in the road. We can choose to act in ways that either favors or impedes your personal growth: we can become stuck in a bad moment forever or we can put it behind us for good. We decide our path. Here are a few steps you can take to recover faith after betrayal:

1. Forgive. Forgiving does not mean accepting the wrong behavior of others; it means detaching from the pain, frustration, and bitterness buried within. Forgiveness breaks us free like a ship dislodging from a dock. Give yourself permission to heal.

2. Throw betrayal away. Try this exercise: write down on a piece of paper your worst case of betrayal. Capture the emotions, describe the terrible moment, and highlight the magnitude of the event. Get it out of your system, no matter how long ago it occurred. Then, fold this paper and get rid of it in a dramatic way. Get rid of those dark emotions!

3. Regain faith in yourself. The first person you have to trust is yourself. Develop a deep, unbreakable bond with your abilities and your own self-worth. Make a new promise to yourself each month. Keep that promise and take small, daily steps until it becomes habit. Because if you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?

4. Detach from people you don’t trust. There’s no reason to put up with people who act in bad faith. If you feel someone is not trustworthy, you don’t need them in your life. Be selective about the people you bring in for your own well-being. Choosing to cling to people who don’t inspire faith will only lead you to distrust everyone as a whole. Walk away from those you know are not right for you.

We have all experienced betrayal and deceit. But whether we remain trapped in the emotions of betrayal or we break through its barriers becomes our choice. Implement these four actions to wipe away the negative effects of a former infidelity and restore your faith in both others and yourself. For more information or to schedule a FREE consultation, you can reach me today at info@sheenaeizmendiz.com.